The Phallus Cave. It’s Exactly What It Sounds Like.

I woke up from some terrible dreams this morning and decided to take a calming walk to see some penises.

(Or is it… peni? Penii?  I don’t know the plural, but that would be the Latiny way of doing it, provided “penis” is a masculine noun.  Which would only make sense.  I suppose when you make a eunuch, you could call it a penum.  Wow, inappropriate aside, sorry.)

Anyway, I came across the cave yesterday when I was walking without the trusted Fuji (that’s Fujum if you care to neuter it) and knew I’d have to return to snap some shareables. 

First of all, though, the walk itself is pretty awesome.  The path is a winding one through the semi-dark rainforest.  When combined with the twisted mangroves and stalactite-ridden caves, the hissing and the raucous jungle screeching create a creepy enough aura to suggest that some people probably died here; the winding stone path, however, is laid out neatly enough to suggest “well, probably not that many”.  See here.



Anyway, I eventually came to sort of a hidden beach, Phra Nang Beach, which is another stand-alone beaut.  Turns out- after some hotel room research- it, like Railay, has been voted in various polls as one of the best beaches in the world.  As in, you know, pretty.


ImageImageNot bad, right?  Kinda makes a girl think about kicking off her shoes and settling in for some daydreams and sand angels. 

‘Course then I turned around, and a gaggle of phallic soldiers was standing sentry behind me.

ImagePretty weird to find you’re sharing the pristine waters and spectacular ocean horizons with a bunch of giant… these things.

It’s a shrine, mind you, and some more of my h-room Internet searches- which at this point are probably going to get me brought up on Thai porn charges-

(Side note: WHOA!  JUST as I wrote, that, I lost electricity.  It’s storming or typhooning or something outside- my iSearches didn’t get as far as Railay weather, although perhaps they should’ve- but I would like to take this as a sign from the gods of the cave… “men”… that maybe I should keep this short.)

told me that apparently this cave is home to the goddess Phra Nang, to whom you can offer these giant lingams (did you even know that was a word?  I didn’t.) to boost your fertility.  Or you can WORSHIP them! 


Somehow I wouldn’t have been able to kneel in front of the shrine without laughing hysterically, even though I was by myself.  My favorite were these pouty little monsters:


I feel like Tom Robbins set it all up solely to be able to write a book about it.  Jeeeeeez.

Anyway, at whatever point I found myself well satisfied by the scene, I turned and headed home.  Good thing, too, because the thunder and rain started shortly after I arrived and has been dominating the day ever since.

Penis cave, though… for real, y’all.

For real.


One thought on “The Phallus Cave. It’s Exactly What It Sounds Like.

  1. Louise Moses says:

    All I can say is “WOW WOW WOW!”


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