Ladyboys, Please

Some wafflehead took my umbrella at breakfast, so it’s a shame all these raindrops are vying for roles in the next Fast and Furious movie.  The thunder’s just a low rumble but it’s been constant for the past 18 hours, and the raindrops are massive and pummeling.  I picture each one thinking it’s a superhero, curling one fist forward and aerodynamically hurtling toward the ground with the express purpose of driving itself directly into the mantle, which is where the villain’s hiding.

I haven’t used “villain” for ages!  Wow, what a great word.  

The sky is hor-to-hor (my shortening of “horizon to horizon”, which I thought of because I don’t have anything else to do) nimbostratus gray, so I guess I won’t be kayaking today.


I think I’m becoming a crazy person.  I just realized I haven’t had a conversation for like ten days.

Well, it’s a few hours later and I have yet to say anything to anyone outside of “duck curry, please” and “that duck curry was really good, thank you.” And I’m not sure they even understood, since I also have to point to the menu when I order.  But looky here!  I’ve made plans to go out in Bangkok this weekend, and I don’t know who I’m jet-setting with, but she’s a friend of a student’s family. And since that student happens to be the one who said “oh, hey, Miss Foster” when I was flinging those nipple pasties at Katie in Condom Sense because we were joking about her birthday present and totally not, under any circumstances, expecting to do a parent-teacher conference… well, I’m sure we’re going to have a good time.  I like that family.

Maybe I’ll get to shake manicured hands with one of the infamous ladyboys!  Oh, I hope so.  Or, frankly, just a normal night on the town would suffice because I feel like it’s been millennia.  

Later, Thai beaches with your attack monkeys and your spelunking penises and your cumulous thunder.  I love you, but it’s time to make a change. 



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