It’s World Rabies Day today, which is a day annually set aside to celebrate all the extra time we have since we don’t have to spend it foaming at the mouth and dying.
It’s a day for reflection, for taking a deep breath of healthy appreciation… which can later be expelled as a curse toward that stupid, tobacco-chewing, primordial goober who thought he’d take a bite out of the back of my hand.
I’m writing because I can’t let that go.
Also I can’t sleep, which is potentially due to having stayed up too late last night telling the school board member the story about accidentally sending my friend a naked picture of myself reflected in a piggy bank. I can’t let that go, either, because it was unintentional and came out all out of proportion and NOT SEXY (the photograph, not the conversation with the school board member) and usually, when problems of miscommunication happen, you can just go back and correct the error by transmitting your message more clearly, but that’s not an option when the message was a) an unintended nude, and b) conceivably never received in the first place. What would I do? Send a better photo captioned “just in case you saw that other one, wanted to make sure you knew the curve of the piggy distorted my image and that part of me is not actually two feet long and near my belly button, so here’s what I really look like, and also if you didn’t see that other one, ignore and delete this and never speak of it again”?
No. No. Not in this motherbloody lifetime.
Teacher of the Year strikes again.
So anyway, World Rabies Day. I researched it a bit because I’m the consummate educator and I wanted to teach you stuff. I mean, what are blogs for if not education and disease prevention? So here’s what I learned:
First, there is a thing called the Global Alliance for Rabies Control. Their website is your resource for making an action plan, whether it’s educating your village’s elders or having a mass dedicated to dog vaccinations, which is weird in the sense that who knew churches did that?
That would be “mass dog vaccinations” actually. A different thing. Not as weird, and I need some sleep.
The second thing you should know is that there is a road show in Nigeria, the motto of which is “We shall box out rabies out of our town.” I copied and pasted that so you would know that the hilarious redundancies are not mine. I may tell borderline inappropriate stories to the policy makers, but I’ll be damned if they’re infused with errors.
The last thing I’m compelled to report is that a school of thought exists that rabies has the problem of being typecast as a really great way to make people emotional about cute dogs in movies. And since it’s in reality a silent killer… you know what? I didn’t finish the article because it got sad and I’m already bummed about the picture communication issue. Realistically, a good teacher would just hook you anyway, and have previously modeled research techniques effectively enough that you can just go find out for yourselves. So suck it, y’all, find it yourself and I’m going to Pitt St.
BODES IS HERE AND IT’S NATIONAL DRINK A BEER DAY, TOO, YAYYYYY, GOOD NEWS!